HEATHER GOT ME J'ADORE DIOR SHE IS UNBELIEVABLY FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!!

Holy crap I smell like I have money.

I found a story from last year that I never did anything with. If you're bored you can read it here.

I love:
-free shampoo from Victoria's Secret. Yay gift cards!
-my new Royal Tenenbaums desktop. *NERD*
-reading old writing attempts and realizing they don't suck.

This weekend is the Epic Cleanathon. I even cleaned the bathroom. Eat it Suzie Homemaker.

Other fun facts:
I thought chorizo was rice. Imagine my surprise when the waiter brought out a humongous phallic sausage. Score one for me!

Reasons why January is going to be great:

-Josh visiting!!!
-Seeing my sketchy girls in Williamsburg!!!
-New job! Doing phonathons for a local theatre company. I get free tickets to their shows! And bonuses and stuff! And money on top of temping! Yay!

All of a sudden I'm writing a lot more. It feels good.

So I was wondering where all my hair ties were going. Turns out, under the cat's litter box.

And holy crap she just poked out from behind the TV. Spooker!

Current Obsessions:
-Lady GaGa, especially this song
-100 calorie bags of Reese's Pieces
-Britney! (duh) Circus isn't as good as Blackout, but it gets really close.

On Friday I had to wake up at 5:00, go to Capitol Hill and stand outside until my feet went numb. This is the magic of linestanding. You show up at the crack of dawn and wait in line until other people show up and take your place. Then you get paid.

It wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds. Okay, the waking up part really sucked, but that was it. Thankfully a guy I'd already worked with showed up too, and we talked the whole time. Apparently, I'm hilarious. :P

Afterwards there was a temp agency party (cheesy but cute), so we went over to Georgetown and wandered around until it started. The office was so cute, covered in poinsettias, and everyone there was super friendly, dressed up in uber-Christmas crap. There was amazing cider and sugar cookies, and they even gave us little silver wine stoppers for presents.

And then I passed out for 11 years.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful, except for randomly wanting to write today. I need to ingest caffeine more often.

Doopdoopdoop trying to stay positive. Thanks for listening and being supportive/wonderful. You know who you are :)

Being home always makes me sad. Lately some other stuff does too.

I want to hide for a while.

Wyatt is a very good therapist.

I feel like an old lady, but I am so tired. Maybe I need to stop drinking red wine or something.

So here's something that's funny/sad. My church did a Thanksgiving service for the first time ever tonight, and right as the sermon started, the fire alarm went off. So we all had to leave. Debbie Downer mwah mwah mwahhhhh.

I need to read a book that's happier than Clockwork Orange!!!! Any ideas? I'm thinking maybe Pale Fire. Love me some Nabokov.

The people across the street put up their Christmas tree already. Through the curtains it looks really warm and happy. It's nice to look out a dark window and see that.

Cheeseball.

Flying hooooome today!

And in the mean time, BEHOLD:




















he's like a little bear.

Last night I had a dream that Alex from A Clockwork Orange was chasing me.

Maybe I should stop reading this book...

Maybe not.

If I ever stop disliking children, I want cute British ones.

I'm working at a conference this week. Besides really shitty hours, it's actually sort of nice. It's in the really pretty Omni Hotel with tons of free catered food. AND it's an international conference so there are lots of really hot European guys. It's about @#$%ing time I worked somewhere with eye candy.

On the flip side, I'm doing work with other people's powerpoint presentations, so I have to deal with a lot of breathing over my shoulder (some with SEVERE halitosis), and some people even try to push me off of the computer so they can mess with stuff.

My boss is this crazy MIT professor who's only nice to me and the other temp. Amazing.

This entry is void of substance. I need to go shower. Behave yoself.

I'm watching the TRL finale. Awww I feel like I'm 13 again. I hope Britney shows up!

Parents came this weekend! They bought me food so I don't die! Yay!

My mom and I went all over the Natural History Museum. Almost nobody was at the Hope Diamond (!) so we got super close to it and took like 50 pictures. Then went to the Butterfly Garden and made new friends. One landed on my shoulder and stayed there the whole time. For a while I thought it was dead haha.

The rest of the weekend was fun too. Hehe. For me, going out in DC feels a lot more mellow than in Williamsburg. I think it's because there's nothing to do at W&M, so when something actually does happen, there's this crazy tense competitive vibe to win attention and boys and stuff. Very amateurish.

Now it's so nice that it doesn't matter anymore. Nowhere is super annoyingly crowded or loud because there's *gasp!* there's actually other stuff going on around town too. So you can just go out and drink and chill and no one expects anything of you. Which is good, because a lot of the time at school I was thisclose to a nervous breakdown.

I still miss being a little crazy though.. Weird.

So this is embarrassing but whatever.

I fainted.

While getting off the bus.

It was the worst feeling ever, because I knew it was happening two stops before I had to get off, but what can you do when you know you're about to pass out on a bus? Lie down on the floor? So I stand up and BAM. Next thing I know a group of people are standing over me and a black guy is yelling "Jesus!"

This does not top Kate's presentation episode, but it comes close.

I WANT ONE.

Done with the crazies! Yay! I went back there one last time to get my paycheck signed, and of course everyone was super nice, unlike when I actually worked there. Even the crazy receptionist lady, who once chewed my ear off for an hour about a corduroy pant suit she made in 7th grade, was really normal and friendly. People are so weird.

After that I literally wandered around the city. I wanted to shop but didn't like/couldn't afford any of the stores I saw (one day Burberry you will be mine..) So it goes.

My parents are coming on Thursday! Yay! Thursday they're staying at a Marriott for my dad's conference, and Friday they'll go to a dumpy Comfort Inn cuz it's close to me. Lolz.

I'm not very interesting. But this is.

fun fact of the day

GOP also stands for Global Orgasm for Peace.

Insert joke here.

Sorry for insulting your raspberry coffee Joshwah :-P

So, as what usually happens when I chew elements of my personal life over in my head, they've trickled into my writing. I wish it didn't work like this, but I have to get them out in order to write anything non-autobiographical. Otherwise, for some reason, I don't feel like I believe my own work.

Long story short, I'm finally writing something I feel good about, but I don't want to put it up here and incriminate certain parties (ooooh i sound detective-y). If you want to read it, drop me a line via email, AIM, whatever, otherwise I'll keep on keepin on in quiet.

i'm writing this at work fuck the system we're all getting free cars wahhhhhh!

OH MY GOD HE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[insert mandatory yelling-at-you-to-vote-crap here!]

I love being called Temp as if it's my real name. It makes me want to call the other person Asshole.

I read that some people in San Francisco were stealing ballots that voted no on Proposition 8. Classic example of delusion. You make a big shit show about letting your voice be heard and then silence someone else's. How American.

Also, I think the concept of donating your facebook status does nothing productive. At this point, people know who they're voting for, where they're voting, and where they're getting their stupid free Krispy Kreme or Starbucks or Ben and Jerry's. If they don't, chances are they're not going to come to a glorious epiphany by looking at your profile. It's all a gimmick to make the masses feel special. Palahniuk's throwing up right now.

I can be a super cynic, but still got a cheesy, quiet little thrill after voting. Now I'm throwing up. At myself.

Highlights from the weekend:

-drank a bottle of wine in one night (with Heather. And a skinny bottle.)

-scared myself with my costume. I walk into a party where I know no one, and the first thing someone screams is "AND SPEAKING OF SARAH PALIN!"

-was *so* stupid at a bar last night. The Big Hunt, to be exact (say it three times fast). We talked about cocaine, awkward squirrels on fire, being drunk on a bus, and poking people in the ass with kabobs. Then I beat a guy in a drinking contest. Oh yes, you read it here first.

-met two people who live an hour away from Youngstown! That always weirds me out. No one's supposed to know where my hometown is. Then at the event I worked two weeks ago I met someone from the place where my brother goes to school. Is anyone in DC actually from DC?

-watched this thing on the 30 scariest movies of all time. There were some super freaky ones on there, like Scanners and Videodrome (woo hooooo exploding heads and TVs stuffed with intestines), but then there were ones that I didn't even think were bad at all.

Clockwork Orange was number 2? In between Saw and Hostel? But but.. it's not even a horror movie. And American Psycho?? Okay that's really violent, but not scary. Maybe I'm weird.


Did you know Katy Perry used to be a Christian singer? How do you go from one extreme to the other? I'm not critical, just curious.

Kbye!

Today was better. I had stuff to do and people were nice to me.

AND they hired someone permanent so I'm done with those crazies in a week!

Happy Halloweeeeeen! I'll be Sarah Palin parasailin.

I don't like this. And I don't like that it has to be "just life."

Yes, I'm whiny. I don't care.

I started a new job today and had a big freak out. They didn't have anything for me to do, so I sat there until 5:30 doing nothing. The sun was down by the time I got home.

Commence meltdown sequence: "Ahhh I'm a zombie in a cubicle chained to a desk why is this all there is to life?!"

Long story short, I got it all out of my system, and now I'm okay. I have really fantastic friends and family who listen to my rants and put my ass back in gear.

I have the position for four weeks. It's going to be okay and won't be like this forever. Just have to remember to breeeathe.

Holy shit it's windy outside!

I pretended to be a tourist today. Other than that I'm boring.

I want to go jump in a fountain.

hummus is my hot hot sex

Josh tells me I don't update enough. It's been sort of a busy week. Working at events is the best thing ever because of the free food- salmon kabobs, hummus, fresh fruit, little plastic shot glasses of chocolate mousse. Foodgasm.

It was sooooo nice to sleep today though. Omigosh. Waking up at 5:45 has been less than fun.

Went to a film festival type thing at the Archives last night about Canadian animation. After the boring pretentious members-of-the-board-ego-stroking it was freaking amazing. It showed how innovative the methods of creation were, even in the 50's. Those Paul vs. Tony things aren't quite as innovative as they look, because people were doing that fifty-six years ago.

They could get away with a lot more content-wise too, even in the more conservative decades. As long as you called it art, you could pull off stuff like male nudity, or even someone murdering their entire family. You could literally say anything and not get censored.

I'd heard of this really creepy looking cartoon called "Madame Tutli-Putli," and I finally got to see it today. It's basically a woman stumbling onto misadventures on a train, like Nightmare Before Christmas meeting the 1940's. Sooooooooo good. The animators (2 guys) worked on it for 5 years, slaving every day in a darkened room to create this beautifully unique nightmare, and still didn't win the Oscar.

That went to a large-scale, public-friendly animated version of Peter and the Wolf.

I mean, that's fine and all, but it would have been cool if an unbridled burst of imagination had beaten something that was only done to please the mainstream.

Anyway, you can watch it here, and you should, even though it's scary. It's worth it.

I'm gonna be Sarah Palin for Halloween. Then I'm gonna play a drinking game with myself.

Then I'm gonna get Mavericky on your ass.

So what am I doing with my life? Eating rice cakes. Like, a ton of them. Can't nobody shove away them cakes like me.

This weekend we're either going to a Georgia O'Keefe exhibit or OctoBeerFest. Or maybe both. Go drink 8 beers and look at hoo-ha paintings. Yayyyyy puns.

Hmmm what other titillating goodness can I put on here? I rode the metro for about an hour yesterday, after my bus whizzed past me. Then had a beer and a crabcake slider for free. Thanks Heather ;)

I'm finally getting a story idea that doesn't suck that much! Stay tuned!

I finally found some work! And it was so much easier than I expected. Woo hoo temp agencies! Next week I'm working at some weird official-sounding conference on Homeland Security. It sounds important, but I'm just going to sit outside and stuff goodie bags. Then direct people-traffic.

I'm directing the traffic of Homeland Security! If I don't tell them the right place to go, they could all get lost and confused and then Terror Level Orange.

Abrupt conclusion!

I guess I should do a proper first entry. Just moved to Falls Church on Thursday, and this week I'm going to explore the wild world of temping. The applications take forever and are super duper fun oh yes. This whole transition thing is a little scary, but the apartment and roommate have worked out wonderfully, so that helps calm me down.

Maybe I should put stories in here? I don't really know yet. It's been a while since I've written something I don't dismiss as crap. Sometimes a story has too little space for too many ambitions.

What else? I went shopping in Georgetown yesterday, was a yuppie and went to Urban Outfitters. The lady at the register messed up at first and said my total was $20 more than it was supposed to be. Wee! Other than that, I love Georgetown, especially the restaurants. After shopping Heather and I ate our weight in pizza. Lurrvely.

Doop doop doop, I'll update more later.

Look at my new blog! It's pretty and pink and stereotypically feminine!

Weeeeee!